When we think of the concept of “play” in the context of childhood, perhaps specific ideas come to mind of what this ‘looks like’: a child exploring in a sandbox, another child rolling out a blob of playdough with a rolling pin, or something of that sort. But when it comes to play, there is certainly more going on than meets the eye.
To begin with, what is play? Play is a spontaneous, voluntary, pleasurable, flexible experience. An experience is only considered playful (aka “play-full”) if it is engaged in for its own sake.
Play experiences are less about what is being created, and more about the act of creating; less about what is being explored, and more about the act of exploring.
Let’s break this down: Imagine the child who crouches down beneath a tree to examine the exposed root systems at its base. With a small shovel and a magnifying glass, the child explores how the roots are connected by digging beneath the surface and getting a closer look with the magnifying glass. As the child explores, they will inevitably learn much about the tree and the way its hearty roots support the lofty trunk. As they continue to dig, they might also learn about the small ecosystem of ladybugs, ants, and beetles living just below the dirt’s surface.
But, more than learning about the tree and insects, the child is also learning about themselves by wholeheartedly nurturing their natural curiosities as they play. In other words, when they first felt a sense of curiosity welling-up at the sight of the exposed tree roots, and then acted upon this natural disposition, they did something they were always meant to do…be curious! I call this “meeting up with their true nature”. It’s as if, in that moment, they looked back at the curious part of themselves in the mirror and said: “Well hello, curious one!”.
That child might someday forget about the tree roots and the speckled ladybugs, but that felt-sense of “I am curious” and “being curious nurtures me” is truly empowering.
For children, growing to understand their true nature, or “who they are”, is crucial in supporting their holistic development. By engaging in play, children can fully exercise this awareness of the self over and over again.
Let me just quickly note: The general understanding that play is important to children’s development and well-being is not anything new. It’s been researched repeatedly, and we know that the results of these studies often say the same few things in terms of the benefits of play: it helps to support responsive relationships, it strengthens core life skills, and tends to reduce stress.
But I wonder if we can just stand back from these three overarching benefits, and determine what’s really going on for children from a holistic viewpoint? Beyond “concrete outcomes”, can we begin to decipher what’s going on at a deeper level? It’s my belief that what’s at the core of these three commonly-discussed benefits is one thing: children are really figuring out “who they are” and “what nurtures them” by attuning to themselves over and over again in the simple act and process of unstructured play.
And, no one can develop this felt-sense of the “who I am”, other than the child. We cannot pre-fabricate this for the child, nor would we want to. Our role is to facilitate, to guide, to figure out what that individual child deserves—so they can immerse themselves in the act of coming to know and nurture themselves.
The best way I can invite you into this is concept is to offer you a reminder of when you may have experienced this in your own life.
Pause for a moment. When was the last time you recall engaging in an activity for its own sake (no focus on outcomes allowed!)? While engaging in the activity, for it to be considered “play”, it should conjure up feelings of joy, be internally motivated or spontaneous, voluntary (ie. it wasn’t a demand or task placed upon you) and offer you flexibility or creative freedom.
Got it? Okay, let’s proceed.
While you “played”, recall the feelings that arose during the activity and afterwards.
By engaging in the act of play, how did it serve you in-the-moment and throughout the rest of the day?
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your overall sense of well-being?
How did the experience impact your relationships with yourself and others throughout the rest of the day?
Hopefully, this little exercise illustrates the fundamental role that “play” plays in coming back to our true nature. Aimless, unstructured, process-focused play that is both creative and expressive—invites us to come home to ourselves. And in this homecoming, we experience the fullness of life.
Let me be clear…our culture does not promote this kind of activity. Aimless? Process-based? Unstructured? Honestly, this would be considered a “waste of time” by our culture’s standards.
The thing is, this kind of “play” breathes vital life into children’s daily routines (and our own).
And, did you know that children have less and less access to free play? It has been reported that in the last ten years, the amount of time and access children have to unstructured play is on a steady decline.But why? Well, beyond a productivity-focused culture that discourages this kind of “fruitless” activity, there are certainly other factors pushing play to the sidelines:
Firstly, children’s time is mostly pre-occupied with highly structured, outcome-based, educational activities. Endeavours like organized sports, skill-based clubs and extra-curriculars, church, school, etc. are consuming much of children’s time. And don’t get me wrong, these experiences have an important role in their lives as well. But we need to consider how muchtime they are consuming and what’s getting forfeited as a result.
Second, there are growing concerns around children’s safety when it comes to free play. Children’s play spaces are often designed to maximize safety, rather than being truly rooted in the research and theory regarding what constitutes a rich, engaging, open-ended, play-based environment. In short, as a society, we’ve opted for safety over play.
Finally, commercialized toys (ie. the “toy industry”) and technology have really steered children towards living more sedentary lifestyles, and as a result, we are seeing less and less healthy (natural) play behaviours in children. The toys, games, and technology that is marketed to children and families are more focused on the immediate gratification (ie. the initial “wow-factor” reaction of children) and are intentionally designed to become “boring” to children quickly. Why? Because if the toy is boring, parents are more likely to go out and buy a new toy. Similarly, if the app gets boring, parents are more likely to go purchase the ‘expansion pack’. It comes down to dollars and cents, unfortunately, but at what cost?
Have you ever heard a parent share this sincere concern: “I worry about the day my child loses their spark.”?
I know I have, and their concerns are real and valid. And we know that for society to function well, there needs to be a degree of consensus and structure. But how much is enough?
Returning to unstructured play is one way we can allow children to not only *keep* their ‘spark’ or ‘true nature’, but nurture and grow it as well.
References
Ontario Government. (2014). How DOes Learning. How Does Learning Happen? https://files.ontario.ca/edu-how-does-learning-happen-en-2021-03-23.pdf
Wong, K. (2020, August 14). How to Add More Play to Your Grown-Up Life, Even Now. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/14/smarter-living/adults-play-work-life-balance.html
Play. The Encyclopedia of Early Childhood Development. (n.d.). https://www.child-encyclopedia.com/play#why-should-play-be-part-all-childrens-life
